There is hope.

Life moves differently these days. The days and weeks and months see to blur together. I have found it really hard to move forward or make progress. I’ll work on something and then a week or two passes before I come back to it. Partly this is because I procrastinate. This isn’t from laziness, but a lack of faith in my ability to help people during a time when I’m figuring out how to help myself. Then more time passes and it becomes increasingly hard to get back to it. There’s a feeling of guilt for dropping off and procrastinating. It’s hard to focus on personal growth when things don’t feel safe. And when there is so much ambient anxiety.

So to get through this, I’ve been focusing on self-care a lot. Mostly so that I don’t feel so incredibly annoyed with small things and people who deserve kindness above all right now. That’s really what prompted me to focus on meditation and finding ways to feel more grounded. To look within and unravel the emotions and figure out why I was so damned annoyed all the time.

Well, it comes down to fear and uncertainty. There’s so much of that right now. So many unknowns, about the world, about my family’s future. Most of my family is on the east coast while I’m in California. It’s been hard to be so far away without having the option to safely travel. And that is what my psyche is trying to find, safety. I know I’m not alone in all this.

So much pain and anxiety is just floating in the air. It can be overwhelming if you tap into it when your resources to deal with stress are already low. Like going shopping when you’re hungry. You just don’t make the best choices. Having enough of these experiences signals a need for me to find something more to focus on. To get back to what’s really important to me. No matter how it’s received. That inner critical voice telling me that I’m getting it wrong has been proven inaccurate repeatedly in my life. Why do I keep listening to it?

That’s a question without an easy answer. Part of the reason is that life is tough right now. It’s hard to stay present with all the turmoil in the world. Protests, social injustice, insane politics, deaths, illness, anxiety, etc.. causing prolonged uncertainty with such high stakes. Not being able to use the same coping mechanisms like going out, meeting with friends, aimlessly walking the aisles at Target. Those coping mechanisms maybe weren’t the best to begin with. Now there’s an added element of danger and anxiety. It’s hard to feel safe when things that were normal aren’t anymore. And that critical voice has always been trying to keep me safe. So productivity or personal growth takes a backseat.

But the human spirit is resilient. We can adapt. We can find little things to help us. Routines, like waking up, taking a shower and making the bed. Being in nature, going for a walk everyday.  Having things to look forward to or enjoy. Working on what we can control, like organizing your space. Or other stuff, like I’ve started drinking flavored sparkling water. Who knew it would be so enjoyable. It’s a small thing but somehow it makes my day a little better.

From time to time, emotions get big and messy and can feel overwhelming. That tells me I need to pause. Taking the time and energy to unravel those feelings and thoughts is incredibly important. Acknowledging how I’m feeling is necessary for me. Holding it all in just doesn’t work. That’s how I dealt with feelings for so many years. They don’t go anywhere though. They just get stuck in your body. So I’ve worked really hard (over many years) to approach my emotions differently. To be open and honest, to be vulnerable. Especially with people who have earned my trust. In any case, expressing how I’m feeling, even just to myself or my journal, helps me come back to ground. To be present with those waves long enough for them to pass. To settle and refocus on what matters.

Being of service really matters to me. When I’m not using my gifts or my insight, I get sad. Because supporting people and being helpful feels good to me. That’s why I’m so well suited to coaching. However long it takes for me to come back to that is okay. The important thing is to come back. To get back on track. Whatever that looks like in today’s world. So I’m writing this blog. I put together a newsletter and a survey to ask interested people what they understand about themselves, what’s hard and what they need. Because I want to offer things that will help.

Being alive is a gift. Being a human on this planet even during this crazy time is a gift. Some people say it’s a shifting of consciousness, the unrest and upheaval is a sign of growth and healing to come. I hope so and I’m going to try and be a part of what makes this world so amazing and beautiful.

If you’re able to, please complete my survey. I hope you can take care of yourself and find things to look forward to and some small moments of joy. So you can approach the future with hope.